If you search for the #BeDisciplined2016, you will find some posts throughout the year that document my journey to health. Some are meant to be funny, some are to motivate, but all are reminders to myself of where I am going.
Before I can focus on where I am going, I must first recap where I have been. In the summer of 2011 before my senior year, my parents went through a divorce that rocked my world (that story is for another post). This set in motion a self destructive idea that I had to take care of everyone else. I felt I needed to fix them. Lesson Learned: I should leave the fixing to God.
I failed miserably in many ways over the next 4 years, but the biggest mistake I made was allowing myself to neglect my physical health. It is embarrassing and heartbreaking when your before photo is better than your after photo.
From 2012 - 2015 my weight continued to pile until I didn't even recognize myself.
I was fighting what felt like a losing battle. I wanted to blame everything else. I wanted to blame my parents, my busy schedule, my work, my college, my injury, and my pain. The truth was that it was my fault. I needed to come to grips with the fact that I lacked discipline. I was broken, hurt, abused, and empty. I was using food as a medication that ultimately turned into an addiction. I was losing sight of myself and most importantly, God. I met a friend who had the guts to call me out, I came to the realization that my own actions could keep me from having a family someday, and by the grace of God I found an ounce of motivation. I recognized I needed a transformation.
In high school, my youth leader had us pick a word rather than a resolution for the new year. We would spend the year praying over and focusing on that word. I have continued with this idea ever since. Sometime in December 2015 the word discipline came to mind, and that is where the #bedisciplined2016 originated.Since I established my desire for discipline, I have kept my eyes and mind focused on a life of discipline and obedience. I have had many set backs, mistakes, and frustrations along the way, but every day I am aiming to take one step forward towards a better after picture. It is not about looking good in a bikini or being skinny. It is about a commitment to God, my family, and myself to be the best that I can be. Until then, I am fighting with prayer, discipline, and support of those that I love.
This is a photo of me today as I write this blog. I am not where I want to be, but I am working towards a life of self-discipline.
I encourage you to follow me on Instagram @hannahkalk9994 and use the hashtag #bedisciplined2016. Some posts are following my eating and exercise. Others follow my spiritual journey. Some also just make fun of my cats. Let’s get started on a journey together.
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