You might be wondering where I have been the past month. The truth is that I have been busy disconnecting and being present with my people. My Grandma ultimately left Earth to be with Jesus (read more of her story here and here) in June. We were lucky enough to be in Oklahoma when she passed. After spending much needed time with family, we immediately left for a long and much needed vacation to Kauai, Hawaii with my dad's family.
The time spent disconnecting was exactly what I needed. The moments of peace revealed so much to me about who God is and what he has done in my life. I have been anxious to get back to writing so I can share some of what he has revealed to me.
One of my favorite days of the trip to Kauai was July 4th. My family graciously offered to watch Jaxon for the day so Jacob and I could explore the island just the two of us.
Anyone who knows us is well aware that we are not at all the "adventurous" type. We are rule followers who play it safe in a poor attempt to have more "control" of our situations. This has been a blessing in some ways for us financially and spiritually, but it has also been a curse. Our caution keeps us from spending enough time living in the moment and being grateful for the pleasures of this life that God has given us.
We decided that this trip would be the perfect time to change that. Our day was spent riding on a Sea Rider boat like the one pictured below along the Na Pali Coast, snorkeling in the Pacific Ocean, flying over the island in a small plane, and, finally, attending a genuine Hawaiian luau.
The boat ride was an experience I will never forget, but the final stretch of the trip involved snorkeling. I had never snorkeled before. As silly as it sounds, I was terrified of the experience. On the tiny boat, everyone begins to put on their gear, and I can feel the panic set in. Jacob jumps in the water quickly and motions for me to join him.
In that moment, I freeze knowing that I have a choice. I can allow the panic to take over my mind and ultimately sit out on the experience or I can take the literal leap of faith into the ocean.
In my head, I am literally saying the words faith or fear. Faith or fear? Faith or fear?
Out of nowhere, I hear a voice yell FAITH, and I jump.
As soon as my feet hit the water, I was immediately overcome with joy, peace, and gratitude. The snorkeling experience was beautiful. I enjoyed every single second of it, and I look forward to doing it again someday.
I was silly for ever being scared, but in the moment I was trapped. Trapped by the same thing many other people experience every single day: FEAR.
We live in a world full of fear that is full of things to be afraid of and things to avoid. I look back on my experience and think what if I had chosen fear? I would have missed out on something that God had ordained for me to experience. If I had let fear win, I would have disappointed my husband, myself, and likely gotten seasick by choosing to sit in the boat instead.
A few days later, we are home (FINALLY) after a long couple days of travel and unpacking. My friend asks if I want to do a 5K Mud Obstacle Course. My mind immediately jumps to fear. I haven't worked out hard in months.
What if I can't do it? What if I fail? What if? What if? What if? The what ifs can paralyze you. But again I heard the voice in my head shout loudly, "FAITH."
So I said yes. I signed up. I paid my dues. I am all in. If you are interested in praying for my journey, the race is on September 29th and appears to be stupid difficult. I have a lot of work to do before then, but God has gifted me peace to know that I can fight the good fight, finish the race, and keep the faith. (2 Timothy 4:7)
This year will be a big year for me that is full of opportunity. I have a lot in store ahead that I will get to share with you soon, and I know that this is the year to choose faith. I know I will not be alone in my walk, because the Lord tells me to, "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6
I challenge you to look inward and ask yourself if you are choosing faith or fear? What is winning in the battle of your life? Why not make the jump and experience the fullest extent of what God has planned for you?
Comments