If you haven’t heard me talk about it yet, each December I faithfully pray that God would reveal a word that will be my focus for the upcoming year. Each year he has provided, and each year the given word has radically shaped my life. The year never goes according to my own plans, but God always uses the words to shape, grow, and magnify my faith and character. My youth leader introduced me to the idea in high school, and I have been doing it ever since. You can check out my other words here.
I am more excited about my 2019 word than I have been in past years. God has revealed the word transform to me and confirmed it in more ways that I could have ever imagined. I never know what God is going to teach me throughout the year, but I can’t wait to see what unfolds.
To explain this word, I have to give some backstory. Through the practice of Immanuel Journaling, God revealed to me a few years back that He had a transformation planned for me that would be bigger than I could ever imagine. I had forgotten that promise until recently.
I started an accountability group with a couple of women who want to dive deep and work on our faults and struggles in a safe and Christ-centered space. A couple months into my Residency program and during another Immanuel Journaling session with the ladies, God told me to pause and recognize that I am in the middle of the promised transformation. Residency is all about spiritual transformation. One important takeaway from class has been that the mind, body, and soul are all interconnected and rely on one another for healthy functioning. Needless to say, my mind and body in particular are in need of major transformation.
You see, I work day after day with people who are in hard spaces and tough seasons. I believe that the Gospel best meets people in their darkest times. I believe with everything that I have that God will use people’s sins and faults and stories and redeem them in a way that glorifies Himself and lifts His name up high. But, if I am being honest with myself, I did not believe this would play out in my own life.
I covered up years of hurt and pain with food and destroyed the temple God created for me. Thankfully, I do much better about seeking Christ as my healer and have stopped the vicious cycle of food addiction. However, I have not believed that God can redeem my years of sin and shame and guilt. If you asked me, sure, I would say that I believed He could. But I have not lived in that truth. This year, transformation means living in a way that believes God can and will redeem my story and makes space for Him to do so.
But, this year of transformation is not only about me and my life. This year is about looking out into the world and transforming hearts, culture, and families. How can I be used in transforming other people's souls, bodies, and minds? I cannot wait to share the Gospel with those who don't believe, to heal hearts that have been broken by hurt and loss, and challenge those who are stuck in their comfortable spaces. Internal transformation is only valuable when it is partnered with external action. I pray others are blessed by this word and this posture of transformation for years to come.
As I walk in transformation, I must remember my previous words. I haven’t always done a good job of this. I want to transform without losing the joy that comes with salvation and sanctification. I want to remain focused on what is true, noble, pure, lovely, and admirable. Additionally, I am reminded that I will only be able to transform through and surrounded by my community. Thank you to Jacob, Jaxon, The Fellowship family, Camp Gladiator, and my LifeGroup peeps for surrounding me with love and accountability as I walk through this word in the upcoming year. I also know that discipline is the key to success in transformation. I am reminded that I am given a spirit of love, power, and self-discipline in Christ, and I must not be afraid. I am also calmed with the reminder that God gives me strength when I am weak. His strength will allow me to run after transformation without growing weary or becoming faint. Finally, I have peace that even when this year is difficult, God’s promise of transformation will remain as long as I am faithfully obedient to the call. This year I may be fumbly or clumsy, but I will remain hopeful and obedient when trusting in God even when the “plan” or “path” becomes unclear or scary.
2019 begins with me joining Camp Gladiator and participating in their CG Fit challenge. I have set clear goals despite my fear of failing and genuinely hope that the physical transformation will be so great that God’s glory will shine in such a way that others seek after Him. 2019 also involves me traveling to Ethiopia for a mission trip. I look forward to seeing the heart change that comes as a result of that trip. 2019 holds a great deal of job uncertainty for both Jacob and I, but we are trusting in God’s plan to lead us through those decisions. 2019 will also be a long year of growth in residency and working at The Fellowship, and I am so excited to continue in the spiritual transformation. Finally, in 2019, we will grow our family through the foster-to-adopt process despite our fears of the process. This year, I will be transformed in mind, body, and soul. This year, I will be willing to be willing to do all that God asks of me. This year, God will use this transformation to redeem my past and my story for His glory. This next near will be full of opportunity. Join me in the transformation process. What word is God calling you to run after?
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